Wrong Number
by JenJenGundamFan
Summary: Sucks when you wake up from a peaceful sleep to a blaring phone ringing, just to find out, it's a wrong number!


Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing OR The Carol Burnett Show. The skit that inspired me to write this is mostly their dialogue in some way shape or form, I tweaked it for our time and how they would talk to each other, but overall it's a classic skit that shouldn't be altered too much, so please, I do not take full credit for this! When I watched the bit, I could only see Duo and Hilde, thus I had to put them in this situation! Enjoy! :D

A/N: This little short comes at a most convenient time. Although this is not a lemon, tomorrow, February 1, 2020, will be the start of the Church of Lemons for the 25th anniversary of GW. We have 19 writers working very hard on their fics/art to celebrate our favorite couples. I hope you are able to join in on the festivities over in the Church Of Lemons (CoL) 2020 Gundam Wing Edition collection on AO3 for a daily dose of GW fanfics! See you there! 3

Wrong Number  
By JenJenGundamFan

April 15 AC205

It had been another beautiful night on Earth in Brussels, Belgium. The moonlight cascaded down into a closed window, blanketing the ethereal glow across a lover's profile, nestled in each other's arms, in their soft, comfortable queen-sized bed for the evening.

But their peaceful slumber soon came to an end when the phone rang, loudly, waking both from their slumber.

Groggily, Duo Maxwell leaned backward towards his nightstand. He peered with one sleepy eye, that his phone was, in fact, the offender. He tore his arm away from his wife's figure to reach for the device.

**Unknown.**

_Who could be calling him at this time of night?_

He pressed the green button accepting the call. He questioned, "He-hello?", but as soon as he answered, the person hung up. The God of Death set his phone back down and curled his arm around his sleeping beauty's belly.

"Who was it?" His goddess asked, stirring in his arms.

"I don't know, he didn't say anything, he just hung up." Duo yawned and nuzzled his face in her soft raven locks.

"Didn't the caller ID say who it was?"

The former Gundam pilot sighed, "No, just said unknown. It was more than likely a wrong number, babe."

"Well, why did they hang up, it's the middle of the night, why didn't they tell you, 'sorry for waking you and your wife up by calling the wrong number'?"

"I dunno, he didn't say anything, he just hung up. I'd do the same thing. I wouldn't want to get chewed out by someone in the middle of the night when it was an honest mistake."

The pixie-haired woman turned in his arms, facing him, looking perplexed. "I just don't know how someone would call the wrong number at this time of night."

Duo chuckled, "babe, you can call the wrong number any time of the night."

She frowned, "why would they pick your number?"

The former Deathscythe pilot shrugged a shoulder, "I don't think they picked my number, they probably just dialed and got the wrong number." He wrapped his arms around his spouse's frame, getting comfortable to go back to sleep.

"Is it a signal?"

He cracked open an eye, "is what a signal?"

"Your **friend** that called."

Duo released his embrace from her and sat up, "he's not my friend."

Hilde struggled to lift herself, and when she was eye level to him, she glared at him. "**He's** not?"

He replied, "no," shrugging his shoulders.

"But you just said they didn't say anything," questioning him with her intense cornflower-blue eyes.

"They didn't."

She kept interrogating him. His wife's stare never broke with his cobalt blue orbs. "Then how do you know it's a **he**?"

"I don't," he waved a hand in the air in a bewildered manner.

With that same gaze, she stated, "But you just said, **he's** not my friend."

The skilled pilot shook his head, "It's just a figure of speech, babe, what I should have said was whoever it was didn't say anything."

She quickly replied, "Then, why didn't you say that?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know, I wish I would have." He laid himself back down, enveloping his wife, bringing their bodies back onto the fluffy mattress. She reluctantly complied with his silent request, and he hoped this conversation was over.

He closed his eyes, trying to go back to sleep, but a minute later, his wife spoke in a suspicious tone, "Is that part of your _**plan**_?"

Half asleep, he replied, "huh? What plan?"

"To confuse me!" She challenged.

He let go of his partner and propped up to lean against the bed frame. "How would I confuse you?" He questioned.

The former OZ soldier grappled with her sitting position, she finally won, and too, leaned against the headrest.

She started to spin her suspicions. "Very simple, you just said it was a **he** when it's really a **she**, but then you're saying **whoever** to confuse me!"

She made no sense, and his face plastered a bemused look, "that's confusing me! She who?"

"Don't ask me. She's your friend!" Hilde accused in an authoritative tone.

"Babe, there is no she, that was just a wrong number, that's all!" He reinforced, rubbing her shoulder to try and calm her nerves.

But his soothing touch didn't go over well with her, and she shrieked, "IS SHE PRETTY?!" Her eyes filled with tears, on the verge of crying.

"**WHO**?" Duo countered, irritated at the situation at hand.

"**YOUR GIRLFRIEND**!" She started to cry, and let her tears flow down, not caring to wipe them off. When he went to dry her cheeks with his thumb, she jerked her head away from him.

"Babe, you're going hormone crazy again. There is no she. Besides, you know you're all the woman I need or want. Somebody just dialed the wrong number. That's all that was." He finally was able to wipe a tear away, and he kissed her cheek tenderly. "Now, go back to sleep, you need the rest."

His wife snuggled back down in the comforter, but before he did the same, he got up from the bed, crossed the room, and closed the window from its chilly draft. When he got back into bed, he hovered over his goddess and kissed her temple, then cozied himself next to her once again.

Before he was able to fall asleep, she accused him. "Was that a signal?"

Duo shot his eyes open, staring at the back of her head. "What?!"

"Closing the window."

"Listen, I closed the window because I was cold!" He exclaimed.

"Well, why didn't you close the window before you got the signal on the phone," she probed.

"I wasn't cold before I got the signal..."

_Shit._

She turned towards him and pointed a manicured finger at him, yelling, "IT IS A SIGNAL!"

Duo knew she wasn't going to let this go, so he got up, and turned on the lamp. "Look, babe, there's no signal. No, **she**. It was just the wrong number on the phone. I just closed the window 'cause I was cold. That's all. Now, you're riling yourself up. You know what the doc said. So, please, baby, try and get some rest." He turned the light off to get comfortable as best as he could for the rest of the night.

Hilde rolled her eyes, "are you sure she saw that?"

He groaned, thinking, _when is this cross-examination going to end?_ "What?" He huffed.

"The light going on and off," her eyes bugged out with worry.

He responded, thoroughly dumbfounded, "Did **who** see that?"

She turned her head away from his, in a pout, "I don't know, you tell me, she's your friend!"

"**WHO** is my friend?!" The former Gundam pilot inquired.

"I don't know how about you tell me about the girl that's waiting outside for you, assessing all your signals. Closing the window and turning on and off the lights. That's **WHO**!"

The braided man lifted himself, turning the light on and stared deep into her eyes, pouring out his heart and soul, reassuring her of his affections, "Look, there's no girl, that was the wrong number, do you understand? Now, I can understand the circumstances you are in, your hormones are making you extra bonkers, but why in your wildest imagination, would you ever think I even wanna mess around with another woman? I love you so much, Hilde Maxwell, so much so we created a life together." He placed a calloused hand on her swollen belly. "I would never fuck up what we have together with a stupid fling."

"Duo..." the raven-haired spitfire softly muttered.

He placed his index finger against her lips. "Shh... Hilde, baby."

But she protested and kept talking, "I'm so sorry, Duo, my pregnancy is making me behave absurdly. I just love you so much, and I'm super jealous right now for some reason."

"Shh, ah, there's no reason to be, I love you too, babe. That's all that matters. Now let's get some sleep, okay?" His lover nodded her head and curled up against his chest, her death-grip of a squeeze around his torso was enough to make any normal man feel uncomfortable, but he welcomed it.

The trained assassin waited, slowly stroking through her short raven hair, soothing her, till she slipped into a still rest. Her grasp unlocked from its hold around him, and she started to snore lightly, indicating she was _out._

Silently the stealthy pilot shimmied his way out of bed, undisturbing his lover. He quickly changed from his pajamas into clothes. He grabbed his phone from the nightstand and pocketed his device.

He quickly tip-toed his way across the room when he heard a gun unlock. He turned his head towards the bed, his wife upright, holding his gun he kept under his pillow in case of emergencies.

_Goddamnit, I knew I forgot something! _He chided himself.

"Hold it right there, Mr. Maxwell, you open that door, and I won't miss your balls with my bullets. Where do you think you're going so late?"

Duo turned around and scratched the back of his chocolate mane, "Babe, I was going to get a glass of water."

She raised an eyebrow and eyed him in suspicion, "wearing that?"

But that was all the time he needed, and in one swift, skillful motion, he disarmed his beloved, unloading the bullets on the sheet. "I'm sorry, babe."

"Hey!" She protested at his impeccable Gundam pilot training technique.

"I can't risk anyone of us getting hurt before this little one comes into the world, with a dangerous weapon like this." He held up his 9mm. "Remind me; we gotta get a safe before our little peanut comes."

Ignoring his concern for their unborn daughter, she continued, "Duo Maxwell, what are you doing clothed and sneaking out on me, your eight-months pregnant wife, after all of our talks tonight?!"

"Hilde, babe, I..."

Duo's phone rang in his pocket.

_Fuck._

Hilde rolled her eyes and gave him her signature, dog house, death glare. "Well, are you going to answer your phone? Your girlfriend is probably wondering where you are. Or is this just another **wrong number** in the middle of the night?"

The former Deathscythe pilot nervously laughed, reaching into his pocket. He answered the call, speaking this time. "Yeah, He-man, I'm gonna have to abort the mission tonight. No, this isn't a fucking prank!" He hung up on his comrade, still yelling through the receiver. "So, Heero sends his regards."

Hilde was not amused, and in turn, the housebound agent was not saved by hanging upon his friend, while his wife commenced her screaming, "Duo Maxwell, you were about to go on a mission knowing full well I am due any moment?! That's worse than sneaking around with another woman!" She continued screeching at him, bringing up every microscopic thing he did wrong in the past eight months.

He partially deserved her boisterous reprimand, he had **lied** to her, but unintentionally, he was just so... **restless**. He wanted to stretch his legs, do something, anything before the baby came.

_He was never going to hear the end of this, was he?_

But, lesson learned. Never pick up on a **'wrong number.'**


End file.
